I’ve been ailing all my life. For the first 22 years, I didn’t realize how ailing I was. That is, until I started working in healthcare and discovered that feeling pain 24/7 (among other unpleasant symptoms) is not normal. Honestly, it was almost a relief to know that not everyone felt this way and that I wasn’t just tender, idle, or a hypochondriac, even if it meant I would have to deal with it for the rest of my life.
Yet despite multiple diagnoses and countless medications, like many other people with disabilities, I still grieve for the life I could have had if I had been vigorous, even though I am incredibly grateful to be in the position I am. In my twenties, I struggled to find a place for myself, often fighting with myself, trying not to “let my body win” – as if my “body” and my “self” were two separate entities.
Fortunately, there is one thing that always remains constant in my life, regardless of the ups and downs that my chronic illness brings: gaming. The game introduced me to my wonderful life partner and I am still with him today (for ten years!). It was my love of gaming that got me this job – a remote job that I both love and where I can excel, even though I previously believed I wouldn’t be able to keep up with a “normal” work life.
Above all, my love of gaming consistently, for better or for worse, provided me with the escapism I needed. It gives me the opportunity to live the life I’ve dreamed of but can’t, meet up-to-date people (both virtual and real), explore distant lands, and overcome all kinds of trials, even if I’m still stuck in bed for another outbreak. And with the rise of portable gaming consoles, from gaming phones and tablets to the Nintendo Switch and Steam Deck, this is now more true than ever.
Only Hoyoverse has brought us some of the best mobile games over the last few years. Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, and Zenless Zone Zero are huge games that constantly evolve with up-to-date updates, events, and characters every few weeks.
From music to the thrill of discovering a up-to-date nation or planet, the fact that such fascinating experiences are now available at our fingertips is truly crazy to me, especially since I grew up in a time when cell phones looked like gray bricks and “mobile gaming” was just playing Snake. Now Genshin Impact’s ever-expanding map has become my home away from home, allowing me to escape anywhere, anytime – including when I’m curled up on the couch or sitting in the waiting room of a hospital or pharmacy.
Added to this is the recent surge in popularity of cozy games, which invite people from all walks of life to discover the wonders of gaming (some for the first time). Games like Disney Dreamlight Valley, Hello Kitty Island Adventure, and Infinity Nikki are cute, low-stakes games that can ease anxiety while keeping you busy during complex or stressful times, and even give you room to express yourself with features like customizable clothing and decorating.
In fact, Infinity Nikki in particular has become a great way for me to dress up my character in outfits that I would never have had the confidence or opportunity to wear in the real world, and I absolutely love it.
The Nintendo Switch has also been a game-changer in this regard. Despite aging hardware and the limitations of the current generation, the flexibility to transform your home console into a lightweight portable computer is invaluable as your health problems worsen. Plus, the ability to remove the Joy-Cons or connect the controller even in handheld mode allows me to curl up in any comfortable position and play all day long.
But despite my love for mobile devices and the Switch, I can’t lie – I’m a PC gamer at heart. I have several hundred PC games on my Steam account and I’m always looking for up-to-date ones to add to my ever-growing library. So of course I was delighted when the surprisingly powerful Steam Deck appeared on the scene.
Even on days when sitting at my desk seems too tiring, I can dive into most of my favorite games and pick up where I left off on PC. Whether it’s riding a dolphin to an island in Like A Dragon: Infinite Wealth, tracking a tobi-kadachi in Monster Hunter: World, or playing a Resident Evil game for the hundredth time – there’s a wealth of experiences I can enjoy even in my the worst health days made everything so much easier to manage. With a mountain of cushions and a foldable phone stand, nothing can stop me (I highly recommend the Lamicall cell phone stand below – it folds down really petite and provides enough support to take the strain off your wrists during long gaming sessions).
Plus, with the dizzying array of titles available on Steam, from blockbuster AAA titles to the best indie games you didn’t know you needed in your life, Steam Deck and other portable PCs have opened up the world of portable gaming beyond what I previously thought possible. And of course, these great Steam sales make it cheaper than ever to replenish your library.
Even outside of gaming, mobile devices have been a huge boon to me over the last few years. My iPad, a stylus (like my Adonit Note+ 2 or Apple Pencil 2nd Gen), and Procreate helped me get back into art that I had previously given up on (I actually painted the picture of the girl with the cat at the top of this page!). Thanks to my phone, I can read books, watch movies and TV shows, and even order medicines without having to sit down.
And I know I’m not alone – whether it’s for mental health or physical health, access to all these digital tools has become an integral part of giving people with disabilities a sense of independence and enabling us to pursue hobbies and interests that we may otherwise have been unable to range.
I feel like many people realized the importance of escapism in gaming during the gloomy years of the COVID-19 pandemic (may we never forget the colossal impact Animal Crossing: New Horizons had on the collective consciousness back then). However, for those of us who still live in lockdown for health reasons, the world of portable gaming will never lose its importance.
As I mentioned earlier in my interview with Christina Costello (another disabled creator and voice actress for Collei from Genshin Impact), we still have a long way to go towards representation and accessibility in games. However, as technology continues to evolve and more worlds become available in our hands, I’m elated to find solace in the comfort and escapism that portable gaming can provide. Now let’s hope Nintendo Switch 2 lives up to expectations, eh?
