Remember the Epsilon program? It’s basically a parody of Scientology and other religions in the GTA series with some pretty crazy beliefs that, at least to cynics like you and me, can often sound a bit like cults or pyramid schemes. Well, during the development of GTA 5, former Rockstar programmer and everyone’s favorite radio host in the game, Lazlow Jones, believes he got a real call from people who actually believe in Kifflom’s methods.
It comes from an interview with IGN in which Jones largely talked about what he’s currently doing at Absurd Ventures, the studio he co-founded with Dan Houser after leaving the studio, which is now nearing the end of the road to releasing GTA 6.
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Jones claims that while he was still working at Rockstar on GTA 5, he received a phone call from a woman claiming to represent a group of genuine Epsilon Program supporters who told him they were “dying to know” about the patently counterfeit religion that was originally developed for GTA San Andreas.
“She was basically saying they were followers of this fake religion that we had invented,” recalled the programmer, who immediately went and told co-worker Dan Houser about a voicemail the group had left about how it was done.
“She really sounded like she was an Epsilon Program supporter,” Jones continued. “It’s crazy when you satirize something…because we were very direct about it. We created a website for the Epsilon Program in 2004 and all the writing about it, in my head it’s very clear that it’s a money grab, a modern fictional religion. But they sounded like real supporters of it.” That both thrilled me and scared the living daylights out of me.
How does Jones feel about real people being able to follow the teachings of Cris Formage’s blue-clad sister-brother gang, who famously greet each other with “Kifflom!” and whom Michael De Santa can befriend in between heists and pulling off more hit-and-runs than the average Range Rover driver? “It both excited and scared the hell out of me,” he told IGN.
Honestly, considering how weird the world is in 2024, is it really that weird to imagine people coming together because they believe in the words of a video game cult that central rules state as a fact that sperm do not exist and that if you have a birthmark, you may be a descendant of Kraff, the notable Emperor of the Fourth Paradigm?
Do you think you might be the sperm-less descendant of an alien emperor? Let us know below! Or, on second thought, maybe keep it to yourself.
